is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
