id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
did you just send me my own nude
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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