I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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