I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
