I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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