Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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