Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
