I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
