We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
