so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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