Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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