I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
