I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
