I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
