It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
