Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
...so i touched it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
