new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
