can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
