I need help removing her.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
