I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
