God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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