Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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