Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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