i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
