and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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