somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
