Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
