i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
