New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
