apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
