Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
