i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
