Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
