Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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