i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
