im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
