The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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