All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
