I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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