No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
