Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
