Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
