I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
