Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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