Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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