Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
