He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hello my rib-scented angel!
you never un-have a 4some
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize