i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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