i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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