I wish I could punch you in the face.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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