I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
